dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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