I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize