I showed him my bush... on skype.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
