I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
