If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
