if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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