Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
