I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
