At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
