Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize