Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
