Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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