its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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