im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
this hospital has no fireball
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
