we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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