Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
