More tranny stories later!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm determined to sit on that face.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
