I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize