I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
