Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control

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(713): View more from Texas

She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again

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(618): View more from Illinois

There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.

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(765): View more from Indiana

If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?

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(850): View more from Florida

Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.

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