Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
