Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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