I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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