guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
