Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
