i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
