Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Randomize
