And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
