So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
