Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
