I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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