i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
