You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
