You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I feel like abortions should bother me more
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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