dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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