I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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