Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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