On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
