im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He felt like a one man threesome
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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