He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
