College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
