My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize