I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
so much tequila, so little girl.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
