Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My vagina is very pro this idea
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
