who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
