My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
