He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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