Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
