Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
