shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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