Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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