R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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