If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize