I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize