Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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