I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
