margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize