Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
