yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
