It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Randomize
