He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
