it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize