arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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