Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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