i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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