i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Found the puke drawer
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
