Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
